Bright Shall Thy Mem’ry Be: In Memoriam
Jim Hellen, an older elderly man in a bright yellow rain jacket and his wife Carly, an older elderly woman in a blue UNH zip-up jacket hold hands and dance joyfully under a large white tent at a recent UNH Reunion event; The man has a wide, open-mouthed expression of laughter
Jim, seen here at a recent UNH Reunion with wife Carly, “was so well-respected and had such integrity,” says friend Fritz Armstrong ’57, who first met Jim when they were entering Theta Chi together as undergrads. They became lifelong friends.

FILE PHOTO/UNH MARKETING

James Edward Hellen ’57

His life’s focus was helping others and being kind
To express appreciation for his loved ones — and to make it easier on those he would be leaving behind— Jim Hellen ’57 composed his own obituary a year before he passed away on May 28, 2025.

In it, he wrote that he died “filled with gratitude for the many people and events that shaped my life.” Among those he honored were his parents, whom he considered role models for treating everyone with respect; former teachers and co-workers; and friends who had shared their wisdom and love. He was especially thankful for the support of his wife, Carly (Rushmore) Hellen ’57.

Jim wrote with pride about his and Carly’s nearly 67 years of marriage; their sons James, Scott and David; their sons’ spouses; and their six grandchildren and one great-grandson, all of whom he credited with enhancing his life’s journey.

That journey began in 1935, when he was born the youngest in a family of 10 children, and continued throughout his years at UNH, where he majored in biology, served as class treasurer and was an active member of Theta Chi fraternity.

After graduation, Jim enjoyed a lengthy career in education and publishing, but the focus of his life, says Carly, was helping others. Together they reached out to assist anyone in need, often forming lifelong friendships along the way. In 1980, while living in the Midwest, the Hellens welcomed a refugee Laotian family into their home. The families stayed close for decades, says Carly, their lives intertwining as they celebrated graduations, weddings and other life events.

Jim and Carly returned to New Hampshire in 2003, taking up residence at RiverWoods, a Durham retirement community where they quickly became involved in a variety of activities, both in-house and on the nearby UNH campus.

Jim, always an enthusiastic skier, often accompanied UNH students on ski trips. Along with Carly, he supported campus events such as Take Back the Night. Students in need of a friend often sought out Jim, says Carly, especially the LGBTQ+ students who met him at the activities he attended to offer them his support. He was active in United Campus Ministry, and both Hellens completed training for the New Hampshire Food Bank, so they could pick up and deliver groceries for the UNH food pantry.

After meeting many other UNH alumni at RiverWoods, Jim saw a need to keep them up to date on campus sports, and so he established a UNH bulletin board in the mailroom. Together, the Hellens accompanied RiverWoods residents on bus rides to introduce them to Durham and all that UNH has to offer to retirees, including College Woods, the Memorial Union Building, the library and the campus cows. Jim served on the board at RiverWoods but always found time for fun, including exploring musical interests such as playing the gut bucket in the RiverWoods Ramblers.

Membership in Theta Chi fraternity had always been one of Jim’s favorite memories of university life. When the Hellens returned to New Hampshire, the UNH chapter was long gone, having closed down in the 1970s, but Jim identified students on campus interested in reestablishing the fraternity. While working toward that goal, the Hellens encouraged fellowship among the students by becoming an unofficial chapter house, where, says Carly, they “held open houses following home football games for food, stories and fraternity song singing.”

To Jim’s delight, the Zeta chapter of Theta Chi was reinstated on campus in 2015, and he played a role in the formal installation and spoke to each subsequent pledge class about the opportunities the brotherhood provides.

In his last year of life, the impetus to write his own obituary came from his participation in a Death Cafe at RiverWoods — a gathering for residents to explore one of life’s universal yet rarely discussed topics. He was adamant that his final words should not be “a brag,” says Carly, nor did he want his death to burden his family unnecessarily, she adds, and he made all the arrangements in advance — from prepaying funeral expenses to selecting a special rock in the Community Church’s Memorial Garden.

Along with his obituary, Jim penned a special final message to his six grandchildren. Titled “Wishes/Thoughts for the Young,” he reminded them: “You will be long remembered not by accomplishments but for the thoughtful caring you had for others.” It was advice that Jim himself had taken to heart throughout his long and well-lived life.

— Karen Hammond ’64
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